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Sunday, 27 December 2015

23 Internet Legends Who Helped Others Solve Life Problems Like a Boss in 2015

No comments :
The internet’s a great place. It’s full of people who are looking out for you at any given moment. You can always count on the internet to have your back, and the following tips left by generous, warm hearted users prove that the world isn’t such a bad place after all. These are all the times when the internet had your back in 2015:
Psst: This list is a work of satire, in case you actually think of these as helpful hacks. But you are certainly welcome to try them out.

1. When you wanted to apply for a job


Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

Rishwet zindabad.

Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


2. When you wanted to step out of the box and be extraordinary


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

For all those times you’ve been at a party and run of out things to talk about.

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


3. When the internet took on the role of a true friend


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

Because friends who hide dead bodies together, stay together.

Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


4. When you wanted to save time


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

Completely legit.

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


5. When you wanted help saving up on your finnicky iPhone’s battery life


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

Or switch to Android, maybe?

Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr


6. When you didn’t want to hear your ammi complain about the dishes


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr
Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


7. This life-changing cosmetic hack for anyone battling against dark circles


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

Technically, they’re covered.

Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


8. When it wanted to prepare you for the future


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

The sachai hurts.

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


9. When you wanted some company


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr
Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


10. When it welcomed you to adulthood


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

You have to admit, this is pretty accurate.

Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


11. When you wanted help on the parhai front


Source: Whisper
Source: Whisper

This helps, 100%. Tried and tested.

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


12. When it doubled as a dictionary


Source: Yahoo Answers
Source: Yahoo Answers
Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


13. When it had all the answers you needed


Source: Reddit
Source: Reddit
Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


14. When it gave you the scoop on Star Wars before anyone else


Source: Pakalu Papito
Source: Pakalu Papito

Spoiler alert?

Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


15. When it helped students everywhere with one simple suggestion


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr
Source: Wifflegif
Source: Wifflegif


16. When it wanted you to be showered with luck and blessings


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

Just do it.

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


17. When it gave you the ultimate electricity hack


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr
Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


18. When it helped you think


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

And consequently stumble into an existential crisis.

Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr


19. When it aided you with the key to stealth


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr
Source: Wifflegif
Source: Giphy


20. When it constantly corrected your grammar


Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

It IS 2015 after all. Please learn to distinguish between “your” and “you’re.”

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


21. And subsequently displayed the side effects of being a grammar Nazi


Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

But maybe tone down on the public correction.

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


22. When it came up with new names for everyday objects


Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

“Can I have some more water with corners with this Coke, please?”

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


23. When it gave you the most important life hack


Source: Teenager Posts
Source: Teenager Posts

Inarguable logic.

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy


Thank you, internet. 2015’s been great with you. I feel safer knowing you’ll have my back in 2016 too.

10 Ways Aunties Stereotype Women in Pakistan Before Marriage

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If you’re a girl living in Pakistan, puberty is lesser of a life changing experience than the rishta cycle. The moment you cross that point, you turn into a potential candidate for rishta-hawks silently filtering the female population into categories of desirable bachelorettes for their ladla sahibzadas.
Rishta Aunties have a knack for pigeonholing women on the basis of characteristics (mostly physical) deemed most appealing to them in no less than 10 minutes. So here’s a brief look at some of the categories of women that the rishta aunty makes.

1. The One Who Ran Out Of Shits To Give

This is the rebellious one. She has no concept of social acceptability or norms, and is basically a free spirit. She’s neither worried about what to wear to please Rishta Aunty nor is she prepared to put on a show to act excited about the prospect of an arranged marriage. She sits through the meet-up plucking at the split-ends in her hair and does not commonly indulge in the horror of small talk.
Source: Tumblr

2. The Book-Worshipper

She’s the bespectacled, geeky one and the last one to catch up on latest lawn trends or pretty much anything on the scene for that matter. She’s married to her medicine books and even though rishta aunties dig a doctor bahu willing to give up her career for her post-shaadi life and susral, this one fails to fit the bill because her obsession with her course books has taken its toll on her behavior and appearance. She can hold all the distinctions in the world, but she’ll never be suitable for rishta aunty’s iklota shehzada.
Source: Tumblr

3. The “Taiz” One

This one is the meethi churi slash sugar coated poison. She has her way with words and this is the one rishta aunty is ‘made’ to pay a visit to because of her son who’s obsessed with her. Rishta aunty is certain that this one lured her naïve son into her cobweb because even though she seems to be the perfect catch, Rishta Aunty knows once she becomes her bahu, she’d be the one calling the shots.
Source: Tumblr

4. The Mime Act

This one is too quiet which is most probably because of the awkward situation the poor thing has been put into. In her head, if she talks a lot she’d be ruled out and accused of belonging to the previous category so she has to stay quiet and act shy just so she can be considered as a beautiful doormat.
Source: Tumblr

5. Too Vocal

This one isn’t exactly very well-mannered because she has an opinion and she’s voicing it at the top of her lungs while contributing to the rounds of political conversation going on at the other side of the drawing room, where all the men are seated. Moreover, she wants to spend some alone time with the rishta guy to check if they’re even remotely compatible. According to Rishta Aunty, she’d never be able adjust (cough *bend over backwards* cough) which is why she too, can never be a suitable option.
Source: Tumblr

6. The Imported One

The fault in her stars made her move back from US and she’s having a hard time as it is toning down her American accent let alone complying with the ISO 9000 standards set by Rishta Aunty. She’s still trying to figure out and conform herself to the flawed mould prepared by our society for rishta candidates, but she’s pretty much as confused as the Rishta Aunty scanning her from head to toe.
Source: Tumblr

7. The Overly Religious One

The abaya-clad no-makeup on kind. She’s just too simple and subdued for the rishta aunty. And surprisingly her religion isn’t confined to her headscarf; she dresses humbly not to attract undue attention precisely where Rishta Aunty has a problem. As much as dressing too flashily is unacceptable to the Rishta Aunty, dressing up in a monotone baggy gown is a no-no for her, too. You basically need to be something of a MODEST DIVA, an oxymoronic state impossible to achieve, to appease her.
Source: Tumblr

8. The Nikammi

This is the good-for-nothing one. All the items on the food table have been ordered in or evidently prepared by her mother. She failed her intermediate exam and is now available to walk the ramp for a variety of rishta aunties. Her life revolves around taking selfies, Indian cinema, foodpanda and online shopping for replicas.
Source: Tumblr

9. The Sombre One

This one has clearly been forced into this charade because her boyfriend of 2 years eventually backed out and got engaged to his 7 years younger khala ki beti. She has zero interest in the whole exercise but she’s 26 years of age and hence already in the ‘danger-zone’ (which, according to rishta aunties, typically starts after 25) which is why her mother has begun The Hunt.
Source: Tumblr

10. The Rishta-Candy

This one is every Rishta Aunty’s dream. She has a stellar dress sense and is a gold medalist. She holds an MBBS degree with a major in cooking & cleaning. She’s tall, fair and her vital statistics are somewhere around 36-28-36. She can fluently speak 4 languages yet doesn’t talk loud in any one of them. She’s usually considering 5+ rishtas at a time. And more often than not, this girl is Rishta Aunty’s own bhaanji.

Has Pakistan Forgotten About Muhammad Ali Jinnah?

No comments :
Muhammad Ali Jinnah was arguably the greatest Muslim leader of the 20th century. Over the years, however, we have changed the vision of the Quaid to pursue our own personal agendas. It’s unfortunate, that we are easily riled up when an Indian says that he’s lost faith in Pakistan, but it’d be interesting to know if Muhammad Ali Jinnah would have faith in the Pakistan of today. Because let’s be real with ourselves for once: We’re not the country Muhammad Ali Jinnah envisioned and the country for which thousands of people lost their lives during partition.
So let’s briefly go over what Quaid-e-Azam said, and what we’re really doing today.

What the Quaid said: 

“Along with many other things, good and bad, has arrived this great evil, the evil of nepotism and jobbery. I want to make it quite clear that I shall never tolerate any kind of jobbery, nepotism or any any influence directly of indirectly brought to bear upon me. Whenever I will find that such a practice is in vogue or is continuing anywhere, low or high, I shall certainly not countenance it.”
Source: bbc

What we do:

It’s hard to get much done without any safarish!

What the Quaid Said:

“I sincerely hope that relations between India and Pakistan will be friendly and cordial. We have a great deal to do and think that we can be of use to each other and the world.”
Source: Jinnah.pk

What we do:

Our history with India hasn’t exactly been civil. We have fought two full blown wars, lost hundreds of men in countless conflicts, big or small. The recent breakdown of relations between the two volatile neighbors is yet another cause for concern for the world community (and yes, India too is at fault for this).

What the Quaid said:

“One of the biggest curses from which [we are] suffering – I do not say that other countries are free from it, but, I think our condition is much worse – is bribery and corruption. That really is a poison. We must put that down with an iron hand.”
Source:brecorder

What we do:

The less said about this the better. Right Mr and Mrs politcian?

What the Quaid said:

“If we want to make this state of Pakistan happy and prosperous, we should wholly and solely concentrate on the well being of the people, and especially of the masses and the poor.”

What we do:

According to Human Development Index, 60.3% of Pakistan’s population lives on under 200 rupees a day. Wealth distribution in Pakistan is highly uneven with the top ten of the population earning 27.6% and bottom 10% earning 4.1 percent of the income.

What the Quaid said:

“We are members of the brotherhood of Islam in which all are equal in rights, dignity and self respect. Consequently, we have a special and a deep sense of unity. But make no mistake; Pakistan is not a theocracy or anything like it.”
Source: brecorder

What we do:

We are very quickly turning Pakistan into Al-Bakistan. Legitimizing victimization of anyone who has a different view by not condoning with serious action is a problem that has led us to become paranoid about everything, as a nation.

What the Quaid said:

“We are victims of evil customs. It is a crime against humanity that our women are shut up within the four walls of the houses as prisoners. there is no sanction anywhere for the deplorable condition in which our women have to live.”
Source: lubpak

What we do:

We treat women as second class citizens in Pakistan and many are discouraged from working, especially after marriage. Female literacy is at roughly 60% – a literate person is defined as “people who can read and write a short simple statement on their everyday life.” According to the UNDP, Pakistan ranks 120/146 in terms of gender related index.

What the Quaid Said:

“The tenants of Islam enjoined on ever Musalman to give protection to his neighbors and to the minorities regardless of caste and creed.”
Source: Dawn

What we do:

Minority communities are treated as if they’re a burden on the country. There are several cases of churches being burned, the word ‘Muslim’ was etched out from Dr. Abdus Salam’s grave, a Hindu temple was burned based on unproved allegations in Sindh – the list goes on, but you get the idea.

To not celebrate the Quaid for who he really was on December 25th is to forget his vision of Pakistan. There is a significant shortage of role models in the country – let’s not forget one of the greatest ones.